HIDE + SEEK

you like to think that you're an expert in everything,
nursing your own pride
to hide the fact
that you're pretending:
who needs friends when you've got enemies?
telling me this, telling me that/
apocalypse now is nowhere near how I feel around you sometimes,
patronising me to disguise
how it's a hide and seek situation/
waiting for your one ups to get a man down,
my mistakes are what make you stick around/
sticks and stones are nothing,
but your words piss me off:
right and wrong become a one on one argument,
asking myself why I bother with a know-it-all like you/
truth be told I'm through with your billy liar triumphs
of empty words and tip-ex corrections,
flexible facts as long as you have to be right/
your pedantics make me retch
check my pulse and if it's still beating I won't keep you from killing me/
anything to keep me from the dull reality that your company's become
because there's always one who has to be difficult
and for some reason,
that's always been you

you like being right more than being liked/
but some of us aren't so self-righteous
and,
like I said,
better not to be smart but pleasant instead:
use your head to know when to drop the subject/
I accept that I make mistakes too,
but taking 2 to tango is one thing
and thinking you're better than the whole floor of dancers is another
(i'll punch you in the oesophagus if you talk for much longer)
SORRY
that I'm an idiot
but I'm not blessed with a photographic memory like you/
2 heads are better than one
but not when one head is dead from the brain down/
after all the hows and whys have been explained
by such a wise guy like you/
please,
just choose to shut your mouth once in a while/
I'm not trying to run some kind of fascist regime,
I just mean that we'd get on better if you didn't shoot me down/
doubting the intelligence that although I might hide well
is not something for someone like you to question
unless you have that sarcastic streak removed
(maybe a lobotomy would do the job)

I know I'm exaggerating,
making a big deal,
but this really is the only way I could tell you
to get a word in edgeways
without naming names
or laying in to your rain man tendencies.
I'm sorry that you caught me on a bad day,
let's say we both try to be kind, rewind,
remind ourselves that a friendship is worth it/
shit discos aside
let's decide
to get on with it
together in sickness and health/
breathalyser days behind us
as we try and find meaning
in our daydreams
and make believe games
of hide and seek