A MATADOR

sometimes i feel like a matador
sorting you lot from left right and centre,
my red flag ignored as per usual
as useful as the broken glasses that lie on our floor,
another job for the matador
adore me
but my flaws will still leave a sour taste in your mouth:
how's that for an accolade?

LA LA LOVE YOU
but love's only skin deep
so keep dreaming, androids,
of electric sheep
then at least you'll be counting them
instead of the fleeting moments that you actually see me
in between the seemingly meaningless moods
that dictate my day

if something good will come
then you'll be first in line,
china shop distractions surround you
and fresh feelings of 48 hours ago
as you forgo the friends we made
by creating scenes of a violent nature
waiting for our future to unroll
just a soul clap away from certain calamity
you come at me with broken arms
but flexing can only get you so far
when you're a human heart attack like you
a suit and tie can't hide the horror on your face
as you face backwards:
does pot kettle black ring any bells?

respect me
and i'll respect you
i try to see through you
but i can't,
so i acquiesce instead
but righteousness can only get you so far
i'm in the dark about your high and mighty feelings
clearly we need to talk
before we walk too far down this road
of cat fights,
broken bones
and biting my head off,
coughing with innocent surprise
defending your lies and disguising your guilt
killing my questions
with your questionable level of responsibility
tricking me into forgetting
that it's YOU i'm angry at
attaching myself to the unhealthy habit
of talking behind backs and closed doors

falling over myself to help you
when you helped yourself to what i had
i've had enough of being pushed around
like a human merry-go-round
each rotation making it harder to hit you back,
back to reality as you continue to be
my red flag friend
and i wait for it to happen
all over again